[OPEN] mixed tape of your favorite band.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

Jax watched him get up, and a nurse come in. She took the nodes off his chest, and the clasp off of his finger. He slipped his necklace on, sitting up in bed.

"There's nothing to talk about.. I'm dead and lost and.. There's nothing to talk about." Mat mumbled, then sniffled. He opened the door, rubbing at his face. "Being dead is hard.. And I'm always cold.. And it's like.. I feel everything everyone else is feeling because I'm being punished.. And it's horrible.."

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr frowned as the door was opened. He hugged him toghtly, pulling him close. Everything about him was still the same. "Why would you be getting punished?" He murmured, rubbing his back gently. He bit at his lip self consciously.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

Mat wrapped his arms gently around him, holding tightly to his shirt. "I used to always mess with this girl in high school.. I'd torment her and tease her and she ruined her life because I wouldn't leave her alone.. So I'm stuck here, losing control of my own emotions because I'm feeling everyone else's.. Guess that's how she felt." He mumbled, looking over at Jax. But Jax wasn't paying any attention to them. He was reading is water bottle. "Zeph, why's Jax here?" He whispered, holding tight to the boy.

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr bit his lip, sighed. "Maybe you should try and find her.." He ran his fingers through his hair, swallowed at the question about Jaxton. He tried to feign indifference, that it was just a cold gone bad. But he knew better than that, let out a shaky breath. "He's uhm... Got AIDs..." He choked softly, stomach flipping again. "A-...and.. He got sick yesterday and..yeah..." His jaw trembled.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

"I can't. A drunk driver hit her a few years ago.." He mumbled. And he remembered just how guilty he felt when he found out. You can't take back what you did wrong when they're gone. But his face went even whiter than when Jax mentioned Dylan when Zeph explained why he was here. "W-what? He can't.. No.. He's not just sick? He can't die, Zeph.." He choked, tears falling down his cheeks. He glanced over at him, looking abnormally pale and sick as he slept in his bed, clinging to the blanket for dear life. It only made him cry harder, suddenly feeling like he was going to be sick.

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr swallowed, but as soon as Mat started crying, his own tears began to fall and he clung to his desperately, holding him tighter as he drew in wavering breaths. He'd lost to many people, it wasn't fair. "I know.." He choked, leaning against the wall before his legs could give out from his shaking. "I know... I just found out the other day..." He sniffed, but didn't let go of Mat to brush his tears away. "I wish he was just sick... I-...I do... I would give everything to have him okay..."
'Oh, but haven't you already?' Satan sneered, and he began to cry harder, gagged. But he had nothing left to throw up.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

Jax started to cough in his sleep, and turned over onto his side, holding even tighter to the blankets. Mat shook his head, reaching up to wipe away his tears. "He was always the toughest of all of us.. Why's he gotta be so sick? That's not right.." He mumbled, looking up at Zeph. He gently wiped away his tears before he leaned against him. But Zeph's arms around him didn't feel like Dylan's, and he started crying all over again, clinging to the boy's shirt. "Everyone's gone or going.." He mumbled, burying his face in Zeph's chest as Jax started coughing again.

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr swallowed, could completely relate. But even Mat wasn't alive, despite being here. He choked softly on his broken breaths, continuing to rub his back, hanging on to him. "I dunno what to do nomore..." He whimpered brokenly. "I-...I sold my soul, I'm always s-..sick or forced to do stuff now... And now this..." His voice cracked and he closed his eyes. "Fuck."

[jaxton matthew sanders]

"Guess none of us ended up where we wanted to be.." He mumbled, suddenly feeling awkward about being held by Zeph. He was Jaxton's now, right? He gently pulled away, reaching up to fix his hair. "I think you're really lucky, though. Jax is like.. so sweet and nice. He used to go on our midnight snack runs for us, even if we woke him up to do it. Him and Britt would play with Princess when she refused to sleep.. He always made sure we had our guitars in order.. You couldn't ask for anyone better. Even if he is sick.."

[zephyr preston martinez]

"I know..." Zephyr whispered as he let him go. "I just-... I wish I would have found him sooner..." More tears rolled down his face, dripping from his nose and jaw. He wandered towards the bed, touching Jax's cheek gently before bending to kiss his forehead. He gazed down at him, shaking as he crossed his arms over his chest.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

Mat watched him walk over, thinking he was a lot luckier than he thought. 'At least Jax hasn't moved on..' He thought, sitting down in his chair. It's not that he stopped looking, it's that he found out Dylan had a boyfriend now. So Mat left for Vegas where Dylan wouldn't ever find him.

"You okay?" Jax asked sleepily, reaching over for him. Despite being sick himself, he was worried about Zephyr more than he was himself. Mat just picked up a magazine, flipping through it. He put it back down, not really wanting to read a parenting magazine. He had never wanted kids, but he knew Jax had, at one point.

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr shrugged. "No." He mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed and wiping angrily at his face. "But whatever." He ran his fingers over the sheets quietly, scratched at his wrapped wrist in agitation. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to drink himself into oblivion, wanted to get rid of the fucking devil and the voices in his head. But he knew the only way to do that was death. And Satan wouldn't just let him die his own way.

[jaxton matthew sanders]

Jax reached over, gently rubbing his leg. It was clear, even half sleep, that he was in love with the boy, and had been for awhile. He reached up, rubbing his back slowly. "You wanna lay down? Would that make you feel better?" He asked, moving over a bit in the bed. But he continued to rub his back, hoping it would make him feel better. A nurse came in with another medicine, and he took it, unaware it was a seditive. The nurse motioned for Zephyr to come out of the room with her.

[zephyr preston martinez]

Zephyr opened his mouth to complain he didn't want to take up his space, when the nurse came in. He watched her give Jaxton the medicine, and kissed him softly before leaving the room. "Let me guess. You're gonna tell me how it's worse than you thought and that hes dying and there's nothing you can do. My day is already shit, let's see what you got."

[jaxton matthew sanders]

The nurse shook her head, closing the door gently. "No. I was going to tell you that if he gets any better today, he can go home as long as he's kept from work and gets rest and plenty of water. But we did find that he had a lot of fluid in his lungs, and we're going to put a tube in and drain it out before it develops into anything worse. There's a good chance it's just mucus he's breathed in, but we still don't want him to get pneumonia. I'll get you his papers and his prescriptions, and you can hold onto them until tomorrow." She said, then opened the door for him.

Mat looked up, then pointed at Jax. "He just went out like a light." He said. "He needs coffee or something."